Music and ADHD

ADHD has this thing where you lose all pleasure in things you fixate on. Someone once asked me “What would you do if you were the best at something in the world” and I said “I’m ADHD, I’d probably lose interest.” I may not have been the best musician in the world, but I made it to a professional band before playing my favorite song to play in concert and knowing it’ll never be that good ever again and quit.

It pained me to quit music. I inherited a violin because I was the only musician in the family, like music was my thing. I’d bring my flute up to my lips and just not be able to make a sound out of it. I tried going to a park, still couldn’t do it, I couldn’t physically bring myself to play that instrument. Thousands upon thousands of hours went into learning this skill, and I just gave it all up.

But I was also known as the freak of the band at the professional level, some oboe player went up to me and was like “Hey, I’m the one that used to be the freak of the band, you’re stealing my valor.” All over a fuzzy keychain I’d wear on my hip. The social pressure to quit was there too, I’m not going to 100% blame my ADHD on this one.