Surviving the Crackhouse

I live in gentrification-proof housing, and i’ll make more blog posts on different aspects of this batshit (for lack of a better word) insanity, but today I want to write about why i’ve been calling it a crackhouse.

11 people live in this house, 10 have some sort of disability, but some people are here because addiction is ruining their lives. I’m here because it was wheelchair accessible housing when I was homeless, and I got trapped for 2 years with nothing but worse housing as my options if i didn’t like it. This is definitely my top 3 worst living conditions, but the exercise im capable of getting here is necessary for my nerve damage to heal.

And I work every day to get stronger so one day I can move up in social mobility and live on a farm. Life is so horrible for disabled queers in Florida that becoming a farmer would be one of the biggest increases in my social status of my life. I work hard to improve my life, only to get dragged down by these people.

For the past – Gods, I don’t even know how long anymore – I’ve been exposed to second hand crack smoke. I’ve lost so many friends because of it, another girl gets seizures because of it, let’s just say crack is one of those things that becomes so important you don’t care how much you hurt others. And that’s exactly what we get told when we complain: “I don’t care.”

This isn’t the same cocaine you hear stories of famous writers using, these are fake chemicals with the feature not a flaw of destroying your life and the lives of communities it’s distributed in. They tried to get me into it, I personally hate it. I wanted to see what it was all about; it’s honestly a horrible drug, with so little benefit for so much suffering. I can get tieptetine or opiates addiction as that somewhat has medical benefits, but this just flat out has no medical benefits whatsoever.

I’ve been suffering so much as the result of inhaling second hand smoke almost daily week after week, month after month. I’m praying for a solution, I’m begging my priestess to help me. I call this housing a crackhouse because that behaviour is allowed here with no consequence.

Now, you may be wondering how i’m functioning enough to write this entire blog post. Well today my prayers were answered: the crackhead is moving! She’s going to be someone else’s problem soon, and I pray for whoever gets stuck with this uncompassionate selfish drug addict. And also pray that one day she’ll reach out and get help. But the nightmare is so close to being over. One last thing…

…One last thing is my own addictions, which have been repeatedly sabotaged. I’m on day 4 no tieptetine, i’m using kava and kratom to get through the withdrawals. I’m currently over the worst of it. Then next is to tackle nicotine, which i’m down to 2 cigarettes a day and the patch. Nicotine sure has been put on the back burner for months with how impossible it has been to stay stable. and obviously don’t get hooked on kratom or that’s an entirely other issue, but i shouldn’t need these plants for much longer.

My life is going to improve. its going to be a great 2024;

truly…

…one step closer to the farm life.

🫁🧠💕

No advertisement this blog post.

Edit: if they’re going to place ads on my blog, give me money instead: https://ko-fi.com/mothtasia – I’ll get food with it, nice food, probably subway with that BOGO deal they have going on.