Are Bacteria Farts in your Wine??

This is a fictional anti-alcohol article. I’m inspired by this bullshit article about wrong science, so I’ll do a wrong article with bullshit science.

Are Bacteria Farts in your Wine? More likely than you think! Yest is an anaerobic eukaryotic bacteria that eats sugar and… FARTS ETHANOL. That’s right, the alcohol you’re drinking is BACTERIA FARTS!!! What else could they possibly put in wine?! Bones? Actually they do put bones in wines, that’s why vegan wine is a thing, because most wines are made with animal products. You’re drinking BONES and Bacteria Farts. Do you still wanna forgetti your regretti with a tall Cold One with the bois? Or is this your chance to say “No thanks, I’m drinking grape juice today.”

This is an ad placement: Are you married to your truck? (I made the camo from scratch, that’s not a template) Married to my Truck by Mothtasia | Redbubble

Go grapes today! Grapes will save your damned soul from eternal bliss with salvatory juiciness and the flesh of the gods. Grapes will juxtapose juice julips jubilantly jumping giant jungles. Grapes never burned your house down, grapes never robbed you, grapes never borrowed your copy of Super Mario Sunshine you got from ordering a year subscription of Nintendo Power magazine and never gave it back. Grapes will lead us to salvation; in grapes we trust.
Grapes without bacteria farts.